Divorce can bring devastating psychological effects in kids. The children of the divorcing couples are the one who gets most of the impact, yet they are the one who gets the least attention.
A divorce can make children seriously traumatized, especially when there is a prolonged custody battle. A divorced kid become distressed and anxiety takes over him, they become detached from social life too. Some Psychological Impacts of a divorce on kids are described below.
Anxiety and Stress Begins To Grow
It’s a whole new thing for him. With all of a sudden change of circumstances, anxieties, as well as stress, become to aggravate in kids. So, it is a good idea to avoid discussions related to divorce, while your child is nearby.
Many psychologists believe that a kid encounters a divorce may lead him to become anxious while aging. This may have an impact on his relationships in near future.
The Onset Of Anxiety In Children
Anxiety can hit an all-time high for children who react to divorce with increased dependence, the fear of being alone will fuel his anxiety and children may start beginning to fear the worst when it comes to the development of future which may never happen.
Their life becomes unpredictable as everything becomes suddenly different and full of scary questions like where will they live? Who is going to take care of them? Will they ever see their mom or dad again? What if something happens to the parents that they are living with? Will his parents stop loving him too as they no longer love each other? Here are some other effects:
- Their mind will play the worst scenario as the anxiety level increases the child may begin to sink into a lower pit of terror and they might retreat into more dependent behaviour.
- Bedwetting, separation anxiety, they will become unable to do the basic task which they could do independently, weeping during the bedtime are few examples which they will go through. They will start rebelling as they grow older and start acting out with disregard for his or her parents such.
- Their minds will be filled with thoughts like, they have to take care of themselves as their parents won’t do it, why should they follow the rules when their parents can’t follow the rule of marriage, they will be off to their own happiness and do whatever makes them happy.
- They are forced by anxiety to live in two different worlds, often with two different identities and they might not even realize what they are creating. They might be working in becoming the identities which they believe each parent wants.
- Even at the subconscious level, such actions will take a lot of energy and create a lot of stress in the child. They might end up in dramatic mood shifts, at one point they might be on cloud nine and the next moment darker than a rain cloud.
- One more stress layer might come up from the rules to live which the children think that they might establish themselves. The child might start thinking that they are left to create their own moral code at their early age.
Performance Starts To Deteriorate
Several studies have exposed that kids who witnessed divorces in their adolescence are likely to show poor performance in academics as well as in other activities. They fail to provide a proper concentration in their activities which lead to deterioration in performance. They suffer untold emotion from the harm of divorce.
The school year does not even proceed properly, the teacher will start recognizing the symptoms of divorce that will reflect the child’s performance in the classroom. These behaviors might not affect other children, but the child itself only.
What Is The Cause?
This happens because the natural order of the home and family has collapsed and the soul of the child suffers. They find it very difficult to concentrate on academic works and concentrating on anything because of the deep struggles that give them a sense of insecurity and instability. Without peace and harmony, it is almost impossible for any child to concentrate on studies.
The mental turmoil which he is going through imposes a heavy burden on the child which deprives him of the proper state of mind which is crucial learning. Human mind requires serenity to think, reflect and memorize and master the subject matter of study, but the child has none of them.
Divorce improvises the source of happiness of the child and imposes an oppressive weight of sadness upon them. They will appear disorganized and disoriented. Their homework often goes unfinished, their essays don’t meet the deadlines often their missing work is not finished and often not punctual. A person will lack self-control and self-discipline if there is no order in the soul.
Trust Issues Aggravates
Aggravation of trust issues is pretty common among kids who witness their parents to detach themselves from each other due to relationship challenges. When divorce is an outcome of deception or the extramarital affairs, then it is very important to put those discussions far away from your kid.
A sensitive explanation will be helpful to your kid to properly understand the situation. A person going through a divorce might often ask what a meaningful relationship is. It is more likely a teen asking the same question due to the impact of divorce.
This Can Be A Huge Issue
A child who has trust issues might be unguarded or unwilling to make commitments. Divorce affects their ability to trust themselves and their parents too. They lose trust in their parents during the process of divorce especially towards the parent who moves out of the house.
This is obvious as the parent is less available and which will cause a lot of anger in the child. They might also feel pressured to take sides of one parent or the other if the divorce gets ugly or the parents seem to mistrust each other.
There is a major change in the lifestyle of the family after divorce. Your child might not trust if you are able to meet his basic or emotional needs. This becomes more painful for the child of the same sex as the parent who moved out of the house.
Think Twice Before A Big Decision Like That
Your child might not trust you because they will think that you are putting your needs above everyone else. If your child has younger brother or sister they might feel the need to be parent-like during the parent’s divorce. They will also feel uncertain about their parents to fulfill the role of a caretaker.
Life Become Full of Unhappiness
When a kid witness marriage crumbles between their father and mother then it is an awful experience for them. The situation becomes worse for them if they are not acquainted with the seriousness of the situation. Here are some effects:
- This may lead them to grow a gloomy attitude toward a relationship in future life. They become quaky and start to have an unhappy life. They become unstable and most of the time prefer to remain lonely.
- It is a myth that if parents are unhappy then the child is unhappy too. Virtually every child suffers the loss of the relationship and most of the children whose parents are divorced tend to commit more crime as a juvenile.
- They are more likely to engage in drug and alcohol use as well as sexual activities than those from intact families.
- They experience illness more frequently and tend to recover from it very slowly. They also suffer from psychological distress.
- And the emotional scars of divorce last into adulthood.
Social Issues Start to Kickoff
There are various studies which have revealed that social issues start to kick off when kids experience divorce between their parents. Such children may become shy and afraid of the fact that whether society will accept them or not.
Divorce Can Ruin Your Kid’s Life
Divorce may cause a kid to drop out from school and low level of social skills. Their social relations are likely to be damaged in many ways and are characterized by more problems relating to peers. They will have fewer childhood friends and complain a lot about lack of peer support.
Stressed-out parents can create a stressed-out kid and the arguments over the custody and the worries about acclimating two homes instead of one can cause the child to be an introvert. They might not want to meet other children and may have no one to express their inner feelings.
So, the above-mentioned points are nothing but the summarized form of psychological impact on kids who experiences divorce between their parents.